he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
