girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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