My nipple is on Facebook.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
