sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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