Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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