i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
