Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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