I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
