Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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