lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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