I hate your face
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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