I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
