Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.