I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.