I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way