Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.