i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
