did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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