Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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