dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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