so explain again why im purple
no
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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