I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
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