i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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