Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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