yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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