doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
