He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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