I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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