If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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