Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
