The best revenge is premature balding
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
