maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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