Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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