I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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