Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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