"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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