people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize