Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
