how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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