i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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