There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
