so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
