This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
