How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
