I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
3 2 1 whiskey
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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