In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
