Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm both gender and math confused
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
