I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
