I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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