In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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