Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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