i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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