I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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