return my video game
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
