i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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