Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She's the barista slut.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
