I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
