OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
