I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
