the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
