Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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