dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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