The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
