We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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