I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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