Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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