I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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