I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
