I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
