I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
