I wanna bring you to show and tell
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
