Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
