drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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