I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
