just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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